Maryland Bans SENDING Text Messages While Driving

Hit ’10’ and ‘2’ on wheel, not cell —

The idiot above is in favor of the new Maryland ‘Sending’ text ban, which goes into effect October 1st.  Probably one of these guys who can’t piss and fart at the same time.  He does bring up some good questions about enforcement, so give it a look.  More information can be found about it here.

Do NOT Allow Police to Intimidate You!  EVER!

Is it a good idea to text and drive?  Surely not, at least not for most people.  I’ve seen  morons drive, and frankly it amazes me that they can pull that off without crashing every time out.  It’s also not a good idea to drive and:

  • Apply makeup
  • Shave – ANYTHING
  • TALK on your cellphone (see Lloyd’s take on this here)
  • Search your iPod
  • Scramble for the lit cigarette you dropped
  • Change the DVD (don’t get me started on THAT) for the idiots in the back seat
  • Finger your butthole
  • Finger someone else’s butthole
  • Search for wet-naps re: the last two items

Do we legislate against these activities?  Not in Maryland.  I think Texas or Arizona do have butthole legislation, however.  Sadly, this isn’t about whether you CAN safely accomplish these activities or not.  It’s about your freedom, and they’re being oppressed in a HUGE way with this moronic law.

As with most legislation which infringes on our rights and liberties, this one is sure to square off Police vs Citizens for the sole reason that it’s considered a ‘Primary’ offense.

That means if the cops THINK you are SENDING a text message while driving, they can pull you over.  Can somebody tell me how they can tell if I am SENDING or RECEIVING a text?  Anybody?

Of course they can’t.  There is absolutely no earthly way.  What if I am dialing a phone number, which is still allowed in Maryland?

First Amendment folks will be all over this, because it infringes on our freedom of speech, and very clearly so.  The US Constitution pretty much guarantees that I may communicate when, where, how and with whom I choose, thank you very much.

Fourth Amendment folks will also be all over this, because there is NO way they can tell what you did at that moment unless they seize (TRY to, anyway) your cell phone and examine it.  Fifth Amendment folks will be all over this because the first thing a Cop will ask you, likely, is if you were sending a text message.

Let me make this as clear and simple as I possibly can:  You are ABSOLUTELY NOT obligated to do either.  How do I know this?  Because I can fucking read.  I suggest starting with the United States Constitution.

I’m going to let some ‘roided-up jackass pig touch my Blackberry?  Not on your fucking life.  That’s the equivalent of handing over your laptop so they can see what you’ve been doing….and that is PRECISELY what will be next if this measure is allowed to take effect unchecked.

I would sooner destroy it on the spot than let some stranger go poking through the information I carry on it.  I wonder if my Insurance would cover that?

If you haven’t already, set a password on your cell phone, and know how to lock it instantly.  If you can encrypt your data, so much the better.

IF, however, you find yourself pulled over by the cops for this, remember these simple phrases:

Am I being detained, or am I free to go?

You should sound like a broken iPod (since many of you don’t know what a record player is anymore) with this.  When you’re pulled over by the police, let THEM do the talking.  Never, EVER give up your 5th Amendment protections against self-incrimination.  EVER.

I do not consent to any searches.

Will that stop them from searching you?  No.  Will that stop them from trying to take your cell phone?  No.  But it’s guaranteed under the protections of the 4th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States.  If you can’t cite that to someone word for word, you should learn it.

Never, EVER, allow a Law Enforcement “Official” to INTIMIDATE you into waiving ANY rights. Don’t talk, don’t try to explain anything.  Make them do the job they were paid to do, and stop doing it FOR THEM.  Just keep your mouth shut, let them do their thing, and see those suckers in COURT.  You’ll be glad you did.

Does this work?  It has for me, numerous times.  Even last night.  That, however, is going on a different post.  You’ll note, faithful reader, that I am here and not in jail today, so that oughta tell you something about the outcome.

In truth, I am,


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